| Shot Gun Divorce |
[Sep. 4th, 2008|04:47 pm] |
When patriarchy comes back to America, it will be wrapped in a hockey jersey and carrying a five month old.
-'Nother comment culled from Pharyngula, re: Sarah Palin
Predictably, we at Casa de Kirby aren't watching the Republican convention. I did catch a few snippets of speeches on the morning infotainment, including one where Fred Thomson boasted that Palin had..."run the biggest state in the Union." To which two thoughts came to mind: "Fred Thompson has got to be one of the ugliest men I've ever seen. I mean, who needs birth control? His face absolutely annihilates my libido."
And second, "How is the size of Alaska relevant? Did she literally run across it?" Sure it's big, but unless the presidency is won by a footrace, it's Alaska's population, not geographic area, that is relevant.
We watched "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe" last night, after which we happened upon Sarah Palin's speech. The part where she lies. Which is rather non-specific, no? Anyway, the part where she claimed to be a friend to the "little man," (because we know "forced-birth Palin is no friend of women), the factory worker, the small business owner, the small farmer, etc., despite the fact that Republican policy is all about corporations and screw everybody else.
Then she went on with the usual lie that Obama will raise everyone's taxes. To which I yelled at the TV, "No, sweetie, he wants to raise his taxes and yours. I come off pretty good with his plan. Unlike McSame's."
At the end of the speech, she dragged out all her kids including Johnny Shot-Gun Fiance. And I wondered what the kid was getting out of the deal. "Marry the pregnant girlfriend and we'll...? Buy you a new car? Get you a job working somewhere other than McDonald's or at the tuna cannery? Pay for your college. Pay your bail?"
For my money, the worst aspect of the knocked-up-Abstinence Only Doesn't Work-daughter saga is that Palin would allow/condone the marriage of a seventeen-year-old kid. Palin's family is well off. They can help Bristol (oy, what a name) with baby raising. This isn't the 1950s. Out-of-wedlock marriage doesn't get you run out of town.
Yeah, I know. The fundies love shot-gun marriages. Apparently "Jesus Loves the Little Children," except bastards.
I think very few of us can imagine marrying the person we were dating at seventeen. I guess family values includes setting your kids up for a hands on experience with divorce. Niiice.
For Justin, the most infuriating moment, was when Palin said that [paraphrase], "the results of the hurricanes have shown that we need to reduce our reliance on foreign oil." At which he started yelling, "The hurricanes in the Gulf Coast? That took out our domestic drilling platforms? Our platforms? You idiot!"
As I said, the RNC is bad for our blood pressure.
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| Little Workshop on the Prairie |
[Aug. 29th, 2008|04:09 pm] |
For my personal Curious George out there, here's a pic of progress being made on the workshop. In an ideal world, it would have passed inspection and now be on the way to getting a moisture barrier and stucco lathe.
But Inspector Gadget McPicky didn't like something about the nails, so the contractor had to come out today and add more nails. Consequently, it now has enough nails to weather hurricane Gustav.
( Framing and roof )
Justin is grumbling about a wasted Labor Day weekend, since he can't get to putting up paper and lathe until it gets re-inspected.
This, is why we AREN'T getting a permit for the dining room.
Note: No matter what angle I tried, there was always something "rednecky" in the photo. In this case, the remains of the dead tree, is mild compared to some of the crap on the property.
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| John McCain Hates Women |
[Aug. 29th, 2008|03:59 pm] |
Is she going to shoot someone in the face? I'm a one-issue voter. I'll vote for any VP candidate who shoots their friends in the face.
-From the comments section at Pharyngula, on McCain's VP choice, Palin, a woman.
For those misguided souls who believe John McCain is a moderate.
Besides opposing a women’s right to legal and safe abortion, he is also anti-birth control. John McCain’s Record on Opposing Women’s Health Care: - John McCain’s health care plan will leave 47 million Americans uninsured. His plan would largely force families to buy their own insurance through a private insurer, and decrease insurance offerings through employment. Source: CBS News
- John McCain voted to shut down the Title X family-planning program, which provide millions of women with breast cancer screenings and birth control. Source: Huffington Post
- John McCain supported George W. Bush’s veto of children’s health insurance. McCain opposes expanding the plan that will provide health care for millions of uninsured children. Source: CNN
- John McCain voted against a bill that funded sex education, provided access to emergency contraception to prevent pregnancy, increased funding to family planning services, and expanded teen-pregnancy-prevention programs. Source: OnTheIssues.org
- John McCain voted against requiring health insurance companies to cover the cost of prescription birth control. When asked if health insurance plans that covered Viagra should also cover prescription birth control, McCain had no answer. Source: Katha Pollitt, Alternet, available at Alternet.com, also from CNN
- John McCain strongly supports abstinence-only education in schools, despite extensive research demonstrating that it increases teen pregnancy and sexually-transmitted disease rates. Source: San Francisco Gate, February 16, 2007, available at sfgate.com
- John McCain doesn’t know if condoms work to prevent the spread of HIV, the virus that causes AIDS. When asked at a rally in 2007 if condoms helped stop the spread of sexually transmitted diseases, McCain said he didn’t know. Source: The New York Times, March 16, 2007. Available at NYTimes.com. Importantly, research by amFAR, The Foundation for AIDS Research, released a report demonstrating that when used correctly, condoms are 80-95% effective in reducing the risk of HIV infection. Source: amFAR Issue Brief, January 2005, available at amFAR.org
He also doesn’t think women are entitled to equal pay. John McCain’s Record on Opposing Fair Pay for Women: - John McCain opposes fair pay for women. He thinks it is fine for employers to pay women less than men for equal work. In 2008 he refused to vote for the Lily Ledbetter Fair Pay Act, which allows women to receive equal pay for equal qualifications to a man. John McCain said that instead of fair pay for equal work, women need more “education and training.” Source: Huffington Post.
- In 1990, John McCain also voted against a bill that would have strengthened civil rights in the workplace and banned discrimination on the base of sex. Source: Senate.gov
He hates women so much he can’t even be civil to his own wife, calling her a cunt in public when she teased him about his thinning hair. To borrow and rephrase a right wing axium, a woman who votes for McCain is like a chicken who votes for Colonel Sanders. |
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| Screw (on) the National Day of Prayer |
[May. 1st, 2008|03:27 pm] |
Happy Beltane, the Pagan fertility fest, whose celebration, I believe, in days of yore, included orgies. How cool is that? So much better than modern day religions, which, by and large, frown on the bump-n-grind for anything other than grim-faced baby makin'.
It's also May Day, the big ole, Commie celebration of workers.
And today is the National Day of Prayer, alternately titled, "Spend some time doing nothing while deluding yourself you are doing something."
The Commies and the Pagans should organize an effort requiring the God bothers to get their own damn day.
Ultimately, even people of faith, provided they aren't mentally ill, know that prayer doesn't work. Yeah, they do. When an activity nets success with the same random probability of a coin toss (actually, I think the odds are much lower), anybody in their right mind knows it's futile. You might as well call up your childhood imaginary friend and ask him for a favor.
But it gives people the illusion of doing something, when there is nothing else they can do. It gives the illusion of control. More often than not, it's a fuzzy-wuzzy, feel good kind of way to avoid actually getting your ass up and doing something useful.
All this kowtowing to imaginary forces likely started as a means of trying to control stuff like the weather. Imagine you're farmer in some ancient time when people still thought the sun was a flaming chariot being driven across the sky.
Rainfall, you realize, is like Goldylocks's little break-and-enter adventure at the Three Bears' house. Some years, it rains just enough and your crops grow like gangbusters. Some years it doesn't rain at all, and you've got dust. Some years, too much rain, and you've got the makin's of adobe, but, alas, no groceries.
One particularly bad year, you look over at your neighbor's field and see that his crop is doing well despite the drought. (This is due to variations in soil conditions, drainage, etc., but again, we're talking pre-science era here.) Your neighbor tells you it is because he sacrificed three kittens to the rain god.
So you set out to find some kittens.
In years when your crops are good, you credit the kitten slaughter for your success. Not so good? Need more kittens. Or perhaps you didn't perform the kitty-cide correctly; practice makes perfect. Sadly, for the kittens, the practice spreads throughout the neighborhood.
Eventually, one enterprising individual (having run out of kittens), uses his brain for something other than gooey, white packing material and invents irrigation. Voila, the kittens are saved!
Unfortunately, knowing humankind, and our need for rituals, the "tradition" of slaughtering kittens probably continued for centuries hence. ;P
Anyhoo, Happy Beltane. Go get laid; save a kitten.
P.K. |
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| Please Jab the Pointy Part of Your Flag Lapel Pin in Your Eye |
[Apr. 17th, 2008|03:59 pm] |
Since Justin sent ABC an expletive laden email this morning, yours truly decided to offset his profane and righteous furor with something moderately cleaner. (Oh, boy, Justin is pissed off!)
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(email sent to enough ABC.com addresses to label me a spammer)
To Whom it Should Concern:
Lapel pins. Lapel pins?
Are you kidding? Inane prattle about the patriotic merits of lapel pins and tabloid-style insinuations about the candidate's childhood acquaintances are Charles Gibson and George Stephanopoulos's very best debate questions?
Perhaps these two men have been living in a cave with Osama Bin Laden. Perhaps neither is aware that 4,000 of our brave servicemen and women have died in Iraq? (Or that hundreds of thousands of innocent Iraqi citizens have died as "collateral damage," sacrifices to Bush's war on "terra.")
Perhaps they failed to notice that gas prices are skyrocketing and the economy is in shambles? No doubt, they are also unaware that some 40 million Americans are without access to adequate health care. Or that the current Administration has said it's okie-dokie to torture people and is cheerfully dismantling the Constitution (the former reported by ABC; does Gibson not watch his own network?).
Perhaps Gibson and Stephanopoulos suffered some mysterious malady, striking both deaf, dumb and blind for the past seven years, until, lo and behold, they were miraculously cured five minutes before the debate.
Otherwise there is no excuse for the debacle last night. Stephanopoulos seemed to be channeling right wing hack Sean Hannity, while Chucky Gibson developed a peculiar version of Tourette's Syndrome that impelled him to interrupt Barack Obama, and only Barack Obama, every time he spoke. And the ABC camera person had a perverse obsession with Chelsea Clinton, who got almost as much screen time as the two candidates.
What I saw last night wasn't even "info-tainment," as it was neither informative nor entertaining.
Given the current state of network TV, I haven't been watching that much anyway. I can assure you, however, that I won't be watching any of your programming anytime soon.
P.K.
New Mexico
P.S. I think Charles Gibson needs a medical checkup. He seems to be suffering from dementia and has forgotten most of his basic journalism school training, notably "fact checking." Specifically regarding his assumption that middle America makes 200K+ a year. Here's a quarter Chucky (all I can spare); go buy yourself a clue.
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| If It Looks Like an IDiot |
[Apr. 16th, 2008|04:28 pm] |
Donkey sex. Oh, boy, donkey sex.
Ahem, the above is brought on by my mindless obedience to the overlords at Pharyngula. The goal being to link the creationist propaganda film, Expelled to the site that details the extent of its fuck-whittery.
Scientific American also does a good takedown of Expelled, including Six Things in Expelled That Ben Stein Doesn't Want You to Know."
Fifteen Answers to Creationist Nonsense is a good place to start if you are one of the misguided souls in the "Why can't they teach the controversy?" camp.*
Time to feed my three products of selective (and not-so selective, in Gheri's case) breeding.
Cheers,
P.K.
*Personally, I think people in that camp should be taken out back and beaten with a dead cat, but that was my attempt at civility. Feeble, though it was, I think the effort did me permanent damage. |
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| And in the Role of Elmer Fudd, Hillary Clinton |
[Apr. 14th, 2008|04:54 pm] |
Whuh-huh? I guess Britney Spears hasn't flashed her panty-less pink bits at a camera lately and Linsey Lohan hasn't drowned herself in a bottle of Jose Cuervo. Or maybe there's a shortage of missing, young white women--all pretty young white women are present and accounted for. (Although the media is mildly distracted by the crazy Mormons white pedophile cult in Texas.)
All the media's focus is on Barack Obama's observation that a certain segment of the electorate is a tad bitter (ya think?), and, thus embittered, that segment falls back into the easy comfort religion and guns.
Well, anybody with a functioning brain stem knows Camp Hillary is behind the media frenzy, but it's stupid, nonetheless.
Because Justin was home this morning and he likes watching the morning info-tainment shows, I caught part of Obama's response to Hillary's "Shame on you, Obama," speech:
"She's running around talking about how this is an insult to sportsmen, how she values the Second Amendment," he said, his voice rising. "She's talking like she's Annie Oakley! Hillary Clinton's out there like she's on the duck blind every Sunday, [like] she's packin' a six shooter! C'mon! She knows better."
Bwah!. Like the MasterCard commercial--"Priceless." Serious LOL moment. Especially since I immediately pictured Hillary dressed as Elmer Fudd. "Kill the wabbit, kill the wabbit, kill the wabbit." |
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| Hey? What's That Smell? |
[Apr. 11th, 2008|09:42 am] |
South Dakota's favourite band of anti-choicers are showing their Communist stripes. They've managed (not that getting the Ill-informed to agree to The Stupid is difficult) to acquire 50,000 signatures for a totalitarian bill that essentially would reduce pregnant women to wards of the state. And ban most forms of birth control. Details of this latest bit of Pea-nuttiest, from the "what about the bay-bees" crowd here.
What is especially delightful about that blog posting is the astute comparison to Communism. Innit funny how conservatives love to bray about the evils of the Gov'ment and how freedom is all about keeping the Gov'ment out of the business of...business and private citizens? That is, unless,you are a women, or unless the Gov'ment is protecting you from terrorists. At which point it's perfectly acceptable to butt into the business of private citizens.
But enact a law that protects the environment (and by default private citizens, cuz clean air and water is nice), oh, boy, and let the bleating begin. Out comes the anecdotal story of cousin Bob, who was prevented from putting a pool in his backyard because some stupid law declared his yard a wetland. "The gov'ment," whines Bubba, "is keeping private citizens from doing whatever they want on their own land."
Alternately, there's my favorite for Stupid. The high gas prices are the fault of the environmentalists who oppose destroying some of our last pristine wild lands in Alaska. (This despite the fact that studies have shown there really isn't enough oil up there to provide more than a few years of fuel for Security Mom's SUV. And all oil is a finite resource, so the intelligent approach would be to move to renewable fuel sources. But who needs logic when your are a conservative?)
If you really wanna have some fun with a anti-choicer, ask one this question:
"So, if abortion is murder, then how much time should a women who's had an abortion serve?"
"Uh. What?"
"Murder should mean jail time, right? How much?"
The question will yield one of two responses, prevarication--"Uh, what, huh?"-- or some kind of time frame--"Five years."
The second answer, usually rare, at least displays a refreshing consistency (not to mention the obvious ass-hole-ness.) If you think abortion is murder, then women who have abortions should go to jail. Que no?
As for the rest, who hem and haw--"I, er, I mean, it's the doctors who should go to jail. Don't punish the women, I mean,...uh."--you're buying into the usual sexist notion that the little womin is too simple-minded to make important decisions about her body. She must be protected.
And protected is a pretty word for control. I am protective of my little dog Gheri. Which means, I control where she goes, what she eats, etc. Gheri, being a dog, and not vested with any unalienable rights, nor much concern for said rights, goes along rather cheerfully with the business.
Women, being human beings and fully vested with personhood (the latter not a characteristic of fetuses), aren't cute little dogs who should live their lives in sheltered, cosseted care. Pregnancy doesn't divest a woman of her rights, or demote her to "pet" status.
Keep in mind that this kind of totalitarian thinking has implications for pregnant women who want to be pregnant. How is giving the state authority over your pregnancy and the medical choices you make to keep yourself and your baby healthy, ever a good idea?
If all pregnant women are wards of the state, then does that mean they get prenatal care from the state, gratis? Heh. One can imagine the furor that would erupt from most conservatives when told their tax dollars would cover prenatal care for all pregnant women, regardless of income status. Most gnash their teeth now, at the thought of "all those welfare types" who get coverage under Medicaide and similar programs.
"Grrr. All those slutty, poor women, fucking and having babies on my dime. Why there aughta be a law..."
Hmmm. What kind of law, Bubba? One that forces some pregnant women (low income) to have abortions? Or maybe forced sterilization for anyone deemed (by the state) unsuitable to breed? Sniff, sniff. What's that smell?
Ah, I love the smell of Communism in the morning. |
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| I'm the Big Bad Wolf |
[Apr. 9th, 2008|03:03 pm] |
Apparently, I couldn't be scarier if I grew a set of horns and a tail. At least according to one shrill, Illinois politician.
Rep. Monique Davis (D-Chicago) interrupted atheist activist Rob Sherman during his testimony Wednesday afternoon before the House State Government Administration Committee in Springfield and told him, "What you have to spew and spread is extremely dangerous . . . it's dangerous for our children to even know that your philosophy exists!
"This is the Land of Lincoln where people believe in God," Davis said. "Get out of that seat . . . You have no right to be here! We believe in something. You believe in destroying! You believe in destroying what this state was built upon."
Ah, the power I would have over this nutjob! Just my mere, godless presence, would send her into shrieking fits. I imagine the presence of my immediate family--husband, mother, mother-in-law--would make her god-fearing heart explode. (Father-in-law and sister-in-law are probably also godless; I just haven't hear either admit it.)
Isn't it interesting how easily frightened Christians are of, well, frankly, everything? We all know that teh Gay and abortion give 'em the vapors, so their atheist phobia is no big surprise. You'd think, having the Big Imaginary Daddy in the Sky on their side, and the comfort that the rest of us will someday be roasting in hell, would be enough to allay their fears.
Which calls to might an article in the Albuquerque Journal local Right Wing Rag. (I'd include a link, but the editors of that bird cage liner think their content is too important to make available free.) Front page, with enormous photos, was an article about Calvary Chapel's (warehouse church) latest campaign to get butts in the pews. Essentially, the theme was "Be Afraid." Besides pushing the usual predictable memes--gays, terrorist, and Internet porn will eat your chiiildren!--the campaign featured posters showing families in gas masks, and other no doubt, fascist-inspired, imagery. The pastor behind the campaign noted that "It's okay to be afraid, if something is worth being afraid about."
To which the pastor at the church where I work, took umbrage. In a polite, but mildly snarky letter to the editor, he noted that, "No, it isn't okay to be afraid." In fact, he explained, the Bible is filled with admonitions against fear. His point was that essentially (He put it more elegantly, but after all, I don't actually believe in the fairy tale), that "No Fear" is kind of the point of the Bible and Jesus. It's about hope and all that fuzzy-wuzzy God stuff.
Doing a cursory Google for the topic easily yields a couple of No Fear kind of scriptures:
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
Deuteronomy 31:6
"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear ... "
1 John 4:18
So what exactly do these fearful Christians use their Bible for?
Doorstops? A place to press dried flowers?
Bwah. Who's afraid of the big bad atheist? |
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| McShit Flinging Monkey? |
[Apr. 8th, 2008|02:58 pm] |
I'm beat. But I felt like flogging the "Only an idiot would vote for John McCain" meme today. From Moveon.org:
10 things you should know about John McCain (but probably don't):
1. John McCain voted against establishing a national holiday in honor of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Now he says his position has "evolved," yet he's continued to oppose key civil rights laws.
2. According to Bloomberg News, McCain is more hawkish than Bush on Iraq, Russia and China. Conservative columnist Pat Buchanan says McCain "will make Cheney look like Gandhi."
3. His reputation is built on his opposition to torture, but McCain voted against a bill to ban waterboarding, and then applauded President Bush for vetoing that ban.
4. McCain opposes a woman's right to choose. He said, "I do not support Roe versus Wade. It should be overturned."
5. The Children's Defense Fund rated McCain as the worst senator in Congress for children. He voted against the children's health care bill last year, then defended Bush's veto of the bill.
6. He's one of the richest people in a Senate filled with millionaires. The Associated Press reports he and his wife own at least eight homes! Yet McCain says the solution to the housing crisis is for people facing foreclosure to get a "second job" and skip their vacations.
7. Many of McCain's fellow Republican senators say he's too reckless to be commander in chief. One Republican senator said: "The thought of his being president sends a cold chill down my spine. He's erratic. He's hotheaded. He loses his temper and he worries me."
8. McCain talks a lot about taking on special interests, but his campaign manager and top advisers are actually lobbyists. The government watchdog group Public Citizen says McCain has 59 lobbyists raising money for his campaign, more than any of the other presidential candidates.
9. McCain has sought closer ties to the extreme religious right in recent years. The pastor McCain calls his "spiritual guide," Rod Parsley, believes America's founding mission is to destroy Islam, which he calls a "false religion." McCain sought the political support of right-wing preacher John Hagee, who believes Hurricane Katrina was God's punishment for gay rights and called the Catholic Church "the Antichrist" and a "false cult."
10. He positions himself as pro-environment, but he scored a 0—yes, zero—from the League of Conservation Voters last year.
Like the people he represents, McCain is ignorant about basic facts in Iraq.
McCain made an admittedly false claim, more than once, that Iran was training Al Qaeda members to go back to fight in Iraq. It was only after Sen. Joe Lieberman (I-CT), who traveled with McCain, whispered something in his ear that McCain corrected himself, saying: "I'm sorry. The Iranians are training extremists, not Al Qaeda."
Ish. Anyone who has to rely on Lieberman as their in-person fact checker, should not be president. Can you imagine the fuss the press would have made if this had been Obama making this kind of "gaffe?"
I may actually watch a debate between Obama and McCain. Just to see McCain meltdown when Obama verbally flattens him. McCain, as noted in Item 7 above, has a nasty temper.
"At one point, Cindy playfully twirled McCain's hair and said, "You're getting a little thin up there." McCain's face reddened, and he responded, "At least I don't plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you cunt." McCain's excuse was that it had been a long day."
Where "Cindy," is his wife. He called his wife a cunt.
If any man, especially one that supposedly loved me, talked to me like that, and he learn the meaning of a long day. After I fed him his balls.
Tah-dah! There he is. The Republican candidate for president. |
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| Dog Is My Stinky Co-Pilot |
[Mar. 30th, 2008|03:53 pm] |
last year I visited the Creation Museum. Every time someone said god created man from the dust of the earth, I'd yell "I didn't come from no dirt!" ~borrowed from a comment thread at Pharyngula
Our greyhound stinks. I mean really stinks. Like an old man whose wife has died and now, without anyone to prod him into basic hygiene, rarely bathes or washes his clothes. (For some reason, I always get stuck behind these smelly old fuckers in line at the grocery store.)
A bath might help, but Aries, being old and fragile, makes like the Wicked Witch and melts in the shower. I.e., he falls over and can't get up. So there he is lies, on his comfy bed in the living room, stinking up the place. Certain times a day, his basic D.O. is accentuated with Eau d'Fart.
Gheri, on the other hand, though blind and deaf, and giving Methuselah a run for his money, can still be bathed. It just doesn't happen very often. This morning, after I got up to fed the horse and then returned to bed and our dog-reeking bedroom, I decided at least one dog shouldn't smell like a kennel.
The "easiest" way to wash Gheri is to chuck her in the shower with me. At first, the whole enterprise seems pretty straightforward and I wonder, "Why didn't I do this weeks ago?" I wash my hair and bits and pieces and then move on to the Rat Dog.
First, getting the Rat wet (She's been standing in my rain shadow the whole time and is thus far, just damp.) Scoop little beast up and get her good and wet in the shower spray. She snorts, grumbles and chirps indignantly, but accepts the procedure. Next. Switch the water off and lather up the dog.
Here's where the fur starts to fly. After a few minutes of scrubbing (with cruelty free shampoo, cuz as I've said before, I love the irony), she starts letting loose clumps of hair the way a porcupine lets fly quills. Every time she shakes, big, black clots of hair fly off her and stick to every surface of the shower. Including me. I end up with dog hair in all sorts of unmentionable places.
By the time the bath ends, we're standing in a pond caused by clog of dog hair in the drain. (Naturally, I leave the mess for Justin, under the auspices that he's been complaining about the stinky little terrier.) At this point, I am reacquainted with my many reasons for not washing the Rat Dog.
But now it's time for the drying ritual. First, she flings her wet self on the bathroom floor, and squirms around on the floor leaving a trail of hair. "Lookit all that hair. You should be bald by now," I observe as I scoop her up in a towel. More grumbles and chirping while I start the towel drying. Next is time with the hair dryer. At this point, she's well and bored with the whole business. She alternate between flinging herself on the carpet and squirming and trying to make a break for it. In the past, the second option was a lot more irritating, but nowadays, the little blind creature just bumps into something. Like a Rumba vacuum, she turns around and heads the other way. Usually, this keeps her in the area for a while until she finds an escape route.
The whole ordeal takes at least 45-minutes and I vow--like I always do--"Next time, I'm taking you to PetsMart where their groomers can torture you."
When we're done, she develops a desperate need to go outside, where she makes a beeline for her favorite spot, a patch of dirt where the sun will bake out all the vile shampoo smell.
Estimated time she will stay clean. About a day. Tops. |
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| Needed, One Large Bucket |
[Mar. 27th, 2008|03:54 pm] |
Oh, honestly, won't somebody stuff Hillary in a sack with a boulder and drop her in a river somewhere? The time has come.
While chatting with my mother the Texas democrat--yes, there are democrats in Texas--I mentioned this lovely blog posting over at DailyKos. (It should be noted, that as of late, Kos has become an Obama-only blog. Seems all the Hillary supporters, miffed by the lack of adulation their candidate received at the blog, took their toys and went home. Snerk.) The writer, an atheist, of this particular diary once worked for Reverend Wright.
He preached that no-holds-barred, do-the-right-thing, eye-for-an-eye stuff that is so hard to live up to, but was for him the only acceptable way to live. Dr. Wright did not turn me into a black militant. But he did turn me into a white atheist who spent a lot of time thinking about what it might be like to grow up as a black man in the America he knows. He helped me to wear those shoes, at least for a little while, and he tried to wear mine.
Imagine my surprise a week ago, when there he was, in all his Pentecostal glory, on the TV, saying "God Damn America!" What could have made him say such a thing? Maybe it was the segregated bathrooms, restaurants, hotels, busses, trains, and planes. Or was it the dogs? The fire hoses? the billy clubs? The nooses? Or maybe it was serving in the Marines, and coming home to be spit on and denied even the pretense of equality, in a country where the watchword was "Know your place."
There are links to Reverend Wright's "offensive" sermons in the diary. Justin, my hunka-burning-love-atheist, watched both sermons, and noted that the media, by only playing snippets, the inflammatory snippets, has, as usual, provided the usual skewed (and racist) slant. Watching the entire sermons is enlightening.
On a different tangent, like a good little atheist, I've been enjoying how poorly received Expelled has been -- except by mouth breathers who think God is some kind of super-duper Dumbledore who "poofed" the world into existence. Julia Sweeney's blog has a cute response to the creationist propaganda that is "Expelled," in which she notes that Ben Stein is a IDiot.
I really like this bit about the stupidity that is the Idiot Design / Evolution "debate." Bolding, mine.
To be honest, this shouldn’t even be something that is even being debated. It only continues to be in the public discourse at all because of the lack of sophisticated science education amongst the general public, coupled with groups who have a vested interest in keeping people confused on these matters, mixed with a darker push from elected officials (and some judges and those in power, funded by the more conservative religious groups) who use issues like this to rile people up and make the more complicated, truer view of life’s nature and origins seem as though it’s a debate between those who are moral and good and those who are cruel and heartless. So that when people skim the issue it appears as though those people (on the side of God) are the moral and just ones. They’re nicer. Cause, y’know, they believe in God. They are “open” to a God implanting and guiding life to it’s crowning glory, human beings! ARGH.
Argh, indeed.
We've received a few mailing about "Expelled" showings at the church. Which I shredded. Which, isn't all that unusual--except for the shredding. You would not believe the amount of junk mail that the church gets. Most of it is just junk, and some of it might encourage the elders to spend money we don't have, so I chuck most in the recycle bin. (The current meme is Narnia-related merchandising.) Anything IDiot Design related, however, wins a trip through the shredder.
It's so satisfying to watch the metal teeth devour Ben Stein's face.
Cheers,
P.K. |
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| Hee-Haw |
[Mar. 25th, 2008|04:10 pm] |
Mayor Marty "I've never passed up a chance to waste taxpayer's money" Chavez is an ass. No, not a jackass. I live right next door to a little herd of donkeys and I can assure you, they are superior, intellectually and morally, to Albuquerque's mayor.
Ass, as in asshole. Mirroring the desperation of Hillary Clinton, like a good little minion, Chavez is whining about Gov. Richardson's endorsement of Obama. At this point, you can smell the desperation of the Hillary camp from space. What iota of respect I had for HRC has evaporated in the hot air given off by her campaign. (As of late, she's still flogging the "Obama's pastor is a scary black man, so, uh, guilt by association," meme.) If she steals the nomination, I guess I'll have no choice but to vote for her. But it'll go way beyond holding my nose and voting. I'll need a HAZMAT suit to cast that vote.
Meanwhile, Huckabee, of all people, actually said something reasonable regarding the Wright fiasco. Who-da-thunk it?
And one other thing I think we’ve gotta remember. As easy as it is for those of us who are white, to look back and say “That’s a terrible statement!”…I grew up in a very segregated south. And I think that you have to cut some slack — and I’m gonna be probably the only Conservative in America who’s gonna say something like this, but I’m just tellin’ you — we’ve gotta cut some slack to people who grew up being called names, being told “you have to sit in the balcony when you go to the movie. You have to go to the back door to go into the restaurant. And you can’t sit out there with everyone else. There’s a separate waiting room in the doctor’s office. Here’s where you sit on the bus…” And you know what? Sometimes people do have a chip on their shoulder and resentment. And you have to just say, I probably would too. I probably would too. In fact, I may have had more of a chip on my shoulder had it been me.
MIKA: I agree with that. I really do.
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| Wright is Right |
[Mar. 18th, 2008|04:26 pm] |
So the media, like a pack of melanin-obsessed dogs, has leaped on Reverend Wright's, Obama's pastor, sermons, proving, once and for all that racism is alive and well in the U.S.A.
What? It doesn't? Really? So why haven't we heard much about McCain's best buddy, Hagee the Hateful. Nary a peep from the media about the Hagee/ McCain lovefest. Guess a pudgy, white pastor gets a pass for his bigotry.
But if a black man has the audacity to speak what is essentially the truth, in a loud scary voice, expect a media firestorm. And unlike Hagee, Robertson, and all the other hate mongers, Wright has a point.
America is run by rich, white men. And we do meddle, stirring up ant hills and then whining when we get stung.
Wright's comments are incendiary because the truth hurts. (Unlike the kind of stupidity that usually comes from preachers, asserting that the gays and abortion caused 911 or the flooding of New Orleans.)
The question is whether this will give the closet racists a reason not to vote for Obama. Will they whine, "He hates America," and vote for Hillary, thus assuring McBush the presidency?
Election '08, never a dull moment. |
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| See You in Hell |
[Mar. 12th, 2008|04:00 pm] |
From the people who brought you the Spanish Inquisition and "pride, envy, gluttony, lust, anger, greed and sloth," --i.e. The Catholic Church--comes a new list of fun things to do, erm, ...seven social sins.
The seven social sins, as per Pope Ratzy are:
1. ``Bioethical' violations such as birth control
2. ``Morally dubious'' experiments such as stem cell research
3. Drug abuse
4. Polluting the environment
5. Contributing to widening divide between rich and poor
6. Excessive wealth
7. Creating poverty
I've always thought Catholics lived in their own special kind of Bizarro World. Growing up in a largely Hispanic neighborhood, I was surrounded by Catholics. (It wasn't until high school, that I realized that there were even wackier Xians out there--evangelical Christians.) But the thing I've found most striking about Catholics is their loyalty to team Catholic, even when they follow so few of the tenets of their religion. Take for instance birth control*, which a majority of American Catholics use despite the admonitions of their much revered Pope. Right now, thousand of dutiful Catholics are in the midst of Lenten-imposed sacrifice--"I gave up chocolate"--all the while taking their birth control pills or sliding on a condom. I guess the logic is, "I gave up beer for a month, thus distracting Jesus from the birth control patch stuck on my hip."
There's not much doubt my soul's heading somewhere warm for the afterlife. And Hallelujah, because after this winter, I've had it with the cold.
1. ``Bioethical' violations such as birth control--Check. See I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. Since I'm a starving artist, I can't afford to have a child. And if I did get pregnant, I'd have to make use of SCHIP monies or other government assistance to bring said child into the world and get him/her medical care, which would lead the Right Wing finger-wavers to scold me for having children I couldn't afford. Course, if I spared the taxpayers and had an abortion, that would be even naughtier. But if I keep the happy little sperms from their rendezvous with the egg, I'm subverting God's will. So, uh, fuck God's will.
2. ``Morally dubious'' experiments such as stem cell research- Check. Well, no, I've never actually done stem cell research, but, like a majority of Americans I think the life of a ten-year-old boy with diabetes is much more important that a blob of cells in a petri dish.
3. Drug abuse-Check. If alcohol is a drug...
4. Polluting the environment-Check. (There's a fart joke in here somewhere.) Anyone who drives a car is guilty of this one. Hope you like it hot, America.
5. Contributing to widening divide between rich and poor-Check. Sort of. I mean, if buying cheap shit made in China counts, then oh-boy, Hades here I come.
6. Excessive wealth-Check. Not rich. But I wish, which is Greed, so there you go.
7. Creating poverty . Well, to the best of my knowledge, no. It's worth noting, however, that the Catholic church, via Sin Numero Uno (No birth control allowed), is itself guilty of Sin Number Seven.
*Actually, the birth control issue isn't the most mind blowing example of the perversity of Catholic loyalty. That honour would have to go to the sex abuse scandals, and the apologetics and mental gymnastics that American Catholics will go to to explain why they give money to an organization that essentially sanctions pedophilia. It's like they think their offering monies only go to the priests who keep it in their pants aren't pedophiles. There are special Catholic accounting practices, apparently. |
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| For Want of A Truck |
[Mar. 9th, 2008|03:21 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  amused | ] |
My mom sent me this one. "For Want of a Truck" being one title. Alternately, given the image's source, "Let's Hear it for Cell Phone Cameras!" might be another.
A friend of hers snapped this in El Paso with a cell phone camera. The question therein being, "Who is the most dangerous? The guy sitting in the trunk of a moving car, holding a dollie, which in turn holds a fridge, or, the guy taking pictures with his phone while driving?" Seems like a toss up.
Cheers,
P.K. |
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| Bruised Balls |
[Feb. 4th, 2008|04:15 pm] |
Regarding Superbowl adverts:
*Seeing Justin Timberlake racked repeatedly on a mailbox post...
PRICELESS!
*Best Truth in Advertising moment: When Will Farrell's athlete character talks about the sweat that goes into Bud Lite.
We only watched about thirty minutes of the game, turning it on about 5:30, twitching to a PBS program about elephants during halftime, and returning toward the end of the third quarter. Frankly, I think that's the secret to watching any sporting event. Only the last thirty minutes are interesting. |
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| Will There Be Titties? |
[Feb. 3rd, 2008|12:50 pm] |
"Football would be more interesting if every game were played to the Benny Hill theme song."
(borrowed from the comments over at Pharygula)
Superbowl Sunday here at Casa de Kirby is met with the usual ambivalence. My beloved, manly-man--he who can actually use the tools in the garage in build things--has no interest in spending good daylight sitting on the couch, expanding his ass and raising his cholesterol via seven-layer dip and swilling cheap beer. Not that there's anything wrong with the swilling of beer, by his estimations. But life is too short to drink piss Budweiser or Coors. Justin's ideal beer environ and time is evening, in front of his 90 inch screen, watching an action flick with the surround sound threatening the structural integrity of the house.
Me, I don't do team sports. Don't play 'em; don't watch. Not much for loyalty to a tribe, er, team. As previous employers have noted, "I'm not a team player." (Which, in employer speak, means I wouldn't pick up the ball when some overpaid middle manager dropped it. I have the outrageous expectation that coworkers should do their jobs, and if not, It's Not My Fucking Problem.)
It does seem, this year, that interest in the game may be a little lower due to the teams in question. Most of the sports fanatics I know tend to worship at the alter of the Cowboys, Packers, Broncos, or Raiders. The Pats / Giants match-up seems more like a regional grudge match.
My favorite bastion of American over-consumption, Costco, didn't seem to be trying all that hard this Saturday. Last year a hot dog vendor was frying up free samples under a little tent and a smiling granny was paying for her prescription medications by offering samples of the seven-layer dip. This year, the dip was sitting, unheralded, in bland display, and the supply of hot dogs and sausages was pitiful. (Justin was looking for spicy chicken sausages for use in red beans and rice.) The armies of sports fans with flatbed carts filled with ten cases of beer; several bottles of expensive booze; and pop (for the kiddies), were largely absent.
Well, yeah, there was the one guy buying five large coolers. But, for all I know he needed them for an organ donor program. At any rate, shoppers at Costco just didn't seem to be showing the SuperBowl lurve.
My uber-manly man will probably spend part of the game installing a custom stair rail in a customer's home. If I remember, I may turn on the TV to watch the commercials. Maybe.
As for the half-time show, honestly, unless there's another wardrobe malfunction, what's the point?
P.K. |
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| Rebellious Jezebel |
[Jan. 23rd, 2008|03:47 pm] |
I believe yesterday was Blogging for Choice day. This post over at Feministe gives ten reasons why abortion should remain legal and accessible for all women. All are great points, especially when confronted with the vacuous reasoning--"But what about the bay-beez?"--of many who claim to be "pro-life."
The truth is that most people who yammer about being pro-life, really haven't given the matter much thought. Most don't realize that they've cast their lot in with a movement that is vehemently anti-women. To align yourself with the pro-lifers is to align yourself with those who want to return to the "good old days." The days when an unplanned pregnancy meant no choice: no abortion and, more importantly, no opportunity to have and raise the baby, since only a shameless Jezebel would keep the child. The only choice was to slink away to a home for unwed mothers and be forced to put the child up for adoption. Because keeping the child would brand a woman as a dirty slut who had the audacity to have teh Sex without ownership papers a marriage certificate.
Pro life = anti-woman = anti-family
Anyhoo, my favourite, silly, pro-life talking point is ye olde, "But what if your mother aborted you? Are you glad she didn't?"
Heh. Meaning what, exactly? If she had, then I wouldn't exist or be in a position to give a shit, would I? Or are you suggesting that a ghostly, fetal version of me would be trolling the Everafter, wringing my little hands and crying, "But why, mommy, why?" *Snerk.* How droll.
Cheers,
P.K. |
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| In Dog We Trust |
[Jan. 18th, 2008|12:21 pm] |
It sometimes boggles the mind that we put up with creatures who might describe their daily activities thusly:
-Get up.
-Check supper bowl. Bowl is full of kibble. (Expensive kibble made from bison and salmon.)
-"Ew! Dog food."
-Back away from the kibble.
-Search for something else to eat.
-Find an almond on the kitchen floor.
-Eat almond.
-Thirty minutes later, puke up almond on living room rug.
-Check supper bowl. Still infested with dog food.
...
...
...
...
Look for more almonds.
*****
Listening to "Hell" by the Squirrel Nut Zippers because it makes me laugh. Because the lyrics are funny:
"Teeth are extruded and bones are ground and made into cakes that are passed around." Bone cakes. Tasty and high in calcium!
And funny because people really believe that shit about hell. Funny that people still believe in dark, gothy fairy tales. Of course, they also believe Dog God magicked up the world in seven days, and Noah jammed thousands of shitting and peeing animals onto one itty-bitty boat. Heh.
P.K. |
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